Wedding is an official ceremony done purposely to celebrate the union of a man and woman. It is one of the most valued ceremonies in Nigeria. The history of wedding itself can be traced to the time of the early men. This is why the ceremony is known and celebrated in all parts of the world. Before the arrival of the white men, Nigerians had their own way of organizing wedding ceremonies. But since the arrival of the white men, there has been several influences on our culture. One of this influence is the emergence of church wedding instead of the normal traditional wedding.
Church wedding, also known as religious wedding is a type of wedding ceremony that takes place in the church under the officiation of an officiating minister, such as; a priest or pastor in accordance with biblical laws. It is one of the popularized wedding types in Nigeria and plays a significant role to most Christians and the church.
Church wedding in Nigeria is usually recognized by the law as long as the requirements are met. Among the requirements are that the ceremony must be performed in the presence of a group of people from the side of both parties getting married. It must also be done within the hours of 6 PM to 8 PM and by a recognized minster of that religious denomination.
Steps and Procedures of Church Wedding in Nigeria
If you are planning your church wedding in Nigeria and want to learn about the procedures, we have prepared a detailed explanation on the steps to follow in the list below. But first, we want to congratulate you on your approaching wedding day. Let’s get started!
Step 1: Make a Plan On How You Want Your Wedding To Be Like
As the saying goes, planning is the basis of every event. You will also need to apply it in your wedding. Many people especially females already have their wedding scenes playing in their mind immediately after the engagement/proposal. It is absolutely normal, but you still need to articulate your thought. You can’t expect that your thoughts will suddenly fly out of your head and become reality. It doesn’t happen like that. You will need to set out the theme, colour, number of guests etc. Do not forget that you are wedding in a church and sometimes, the church might have other ideas or restrict whatever ideas you might have. Generally, you will be asked how you want your wedding to be like, expected number of guests, etc.
Step 2: Set a Budget
Since wedding is the big day of everyone’s life, most people forget the crucial aspect which is the budget. They plan everything and eventually exceed the amount they have. In order to cover up for this, they take loans which eventually have a negative impact on their marriage in the long run. A budget will also assist you during your planning so that you will know the number of guests, prices of clothes and every other necessity. Your budget should include some of the church’s department such as the choir, the ministers or pastorate and ushers. If you belong to one of the departments of the church, then it is super important that you must consider or reserve food for your department colleagues.
Step 3: Decide on a Date With Your Parents and Partner
Now that you already have your budget set, you will need to choose a wedding date. Choosing a date might be the toughest part, but it’s all up to you and your schedule. Just keep in mind that it’s your wedding and no one is rushing you. Meet with your parents, your partner’s parents as well as you and your partner will also need to input on when the wedding should be. While this is coming at our number three, in some cases, it might come in at number four, that is, informing your church and pastor might come first before this. It all depends but they often go together.
Step 4: Inform your Church about Your Plans to Get Married in the Church
This step is as crucial as your church wedding. Informing your pastor or church head and the church about your plans to get married will allow the church get involved, plan your wedding with you and allow you use the church for your religious wedding. Usually, your pastor or church marriage committee will most ask you some questions. So you should be prepared and ready to answer them as honestly as possible. If your would-be partner is within your denomination, your pastor might ask you to provide certain details about them such as where they worship, the name of their parish, district, area and the name of their pastor. Your pastor might write to your would-be partner’s church to make inquiries about them, their person and their position in the church. The response from the other pastor will give your church and your pastor a general idea about the person you intend marrying. Note that it might be the other way around; that is, they might write to your church to make inquiries about your person.
Step 5: Start Marriage Class/Counselling with your Partner
This is a crucial aspect in many churches in Nigeria. You should begin marriage classes or marriage counselling classes with your partner the moment you make your intentions known to the church that you would be getting married and the church approves of it based on their findings about your partner. This is usually free in almost every church but you might be asked to “appreciate” your marriage teachers during or after the end of the class. Typically, your marriage class can range from 2-3 months and classes would most likely be on Sundays after service or on Saturdays, depending on the agreement with the marriage teachers. In bigger churches, there are usually more than one teachers and they will teach on different topics or subject matters of the church marriage curriculum. You might decide not to have counselling done or conducted by your church. You are allowed to go elsewhere but if you intend to get married in that same church, you will most likely be mandated to have your counselling in the church. Note that you and your partner will be required to be present during the entire session of your counselling.
Step 6: Check Your Chosen Date With Your Local Church
Now that you have decided on a date, you will also need to check with your church to let them know about the day and know if they will be free to organize a wedding for you on that day. You will also need to discuss the vows, hymns and readings to be chosen. If you want the wedding to be personalized, you will need to confirm with them on the kind of music and other preferences as some churches are very strict on issues like this. Depending on the kind of church and denomination, you might also be asked to present some documents.
Step 7: Confirm Your Plans With Your Church
When planning a church wedding, you will need to have regular meetings with the leaders in the church to know what’s allowed and what’s not allowed. Some churches have restrictions, so you will need to ask if a photographer will be allowed, if your design of wedding dress will be allowed and if you will be allowed to recreate the look of the church to suite your taste.
Step 8: Choose a Venue For Your Reception
What’s a wedding without wining and dinning? Don’t be surprised that mist people actually attend weddings to eat and not to celebrate with the couples. Since you will want your guests to also be entertained, you will need to check out a venue for that as it will never be allowed in the church. It could be an open field, a family house or an event hall. You can also give the contract to a wedding planner to ease the burden off your shoulders.
Step 9: Send Out Invitations
Now that your wedding venue is secured, you can start sharing out invitation cards to your friends and families. Remember to keep the number within the range of your budget to prevent overspending. If you are adding the aso-ebi theme to your wedding, you will also need to inform your guests so that they can purchase and get theirs ready.
Step 10: Get Your Wedding Dress Ready & Submit it to your Church for review
This is usually for the females! As part of your wedding plans, you will need to get your wedding dress ready and have it submitted to the church for review. This is because most churches do not tolerate revealing dresses. If your wedding dress is “stylish and “trendy”, it might be rejected by the marriage committee of the church, particularly if they suspect your cleavages are revealing during the review. If your wedding dress is rejected, you might need to shop for another or have it modified. So, it is important that you must pay attention to your wedding dress and let “modesty” be the hallmark of your special day. You will also need to confirm if your church will accept or reject make up. It is important you find out these things ahead. Please note that rejected dresses, fashion accessories, etc., should be done without. If you go ahead to wear them on your big day, the church will reject them publicly and may end up cancelling your wedding and ruining the day! Follow the church’s rules and guidelines to the letter!
Step 11: Present Every Required Documents
Since your church ministers are aware of your wedding date, it is important you present every required document early so as to get verified quickly. These requirements vary from church to church. Some church will require a proof of baptism, membership, communion, evidence of bachelorhood or spinsterhood, proof of death of previous spouse, proof of annulment of previous marriage, HIV/AIDS test result etc. Medical documents such as genotype compatibility are usually requested at the beginning but pregnancy test results are usually done a week or two before the wedding. In most cases, the church usually has a trusted hospital they might refer you to because of trust and authenticity of the result.
Step 12: Wedding Day
It’s finally your wedding day, congratulations! Make sure you get ready early so that you will not arrive the church late as most churches operates strict policy on lateness to church wedding. Usually, you should have concluded your traditional wedding before arriving here but the rules are fast changing such that most couples merge their reception and traditional weddings together. If this also applies to you, you MUST inform your church of this ahead. Your church might request a letter or invite both parents to sign and attest that they consent to the church wedding. After this is done, you are all set and good to go! A typical church wedding should last between an hour but there are churches that are notorious for dragging weddings and can last up to four hours! So you must confirm this with the church before anything so that people are not left stranded at the reception venue waiting for the newly weds.